Maybe it's time...

...as I peel my contacts off my eyeballs, I realize that maybe I really should consider surgery on my eyes. I can only stand my toric contact lenses for about six hours before I'm ready for glasses again. But glasses seem to congest me...I know that sounds weird. It'd be nice to be able to try on a pair of sunglasses in the store and clearly see what they look like on me. Well, you still have to use your imagination and pretend not to see the huge plastic dohicky with the price on it...but none the less, I'd really like that.

On Tuesday, I got my haircut...last short cut of the year. I'll likely let it grow out a little longer during the colder months. I'd really dig a long hair style...but it's just never been me. :(

Sunday is Extreme Home Makeover...and it features a house out in Peyton, Colorado. About 20-30 people are coming over for that. I think I can find any excuse to have a social gathering...I'm way too sanguine.

Happy Friday all...have a good weekend!

Fruit

I go through strange phases of eating extremely healthy, and then forgetting completely about what is going in my body. Today was a healthy day. I had a yogurt and then a pear for breakfast. I've never really considered myself a huge pear fan, but they are truely growing on me. Maybe I've been drinking so much wine that I'm tasting fruit in a different way now? Some white wines definately have a pear-type taste to them.

After lunch I had an apple. The "gala" apple I had was particularly attuned to my preferences. Crunchy, just a touch of sourness, and extremely juicy.

Does life get any better than having good food? ;)

Comfort in distance...or is it?

I've often wondered what is it that causes us do break down the distance between ourselves and others...a distance that is often very comfortable. The distance is expected, at least in our society (the U.S.), however, I didn't grow up in this society, so I often times trespass on this gap between myself and those that cross my path.

I'm very much into eye contact. I've no idea why. I recall a friend in college...well, he wasn't a friend the first time I met him, but he became one soon after. I recall his eyes meeting mine and seeing the most sadness and loneliness I'd ever seen. In a school of over 50,000 students...how could someone be lonely? Oh yes...the established distance thing.

Anyhow, not being shy and often times speaking my mind, I marched right up to him, introduced myself, and asked if he wanted to grab some lunch. Lunch, at this point in my life, usually consisted of a two dollar calzone at one of the many food stands that surrounded the campus.

I remember my church being the closest people in my life at that time. Even there, I still kept a very healthy distance between the real me, and what I thought others could handle seeing...that was cool with me, and very comfortable. Many said that they shared things with me that they had never shared with anyone except God. "Bizarre," I thought to myself, "they don't like sharing what they don't like about themselves with someone who already knows it's there...". I never did understand the masks that folks put on before themselves and their beliefs...honesty between themselves and God would seem to be a good foundation, aye?

More recently, a coworker opened up to me. He is a really great person, and has no idea of that. He so fears rejection, that he's not letting others see the real him. But I see the real him, and it's not near the downer that he expected. I forgot to mention that I trespassed on his comfortable buffer zone, but I'm sure you'd of figured that out by now.

Physcially, if we all have a 3 foot bubble zone, I've decided mine is about an inch. That could be from growing up in Japan. Intellectually (or even spiritually), I think our buffer zone is much larger. Mine is again, about an inch. This doesn't mean I share everything about myself with other folks...but when asked, I've no problem unmasking what I have to say. I've definately decided that a tactful, honest approach is so much better than a sugar-coated, sythetic answer that most give.

Do I want to be accepted, etc.? Of course I do. But I want to be accepted for who I am and for whom I'm trying to become, not someone that I'm not nor any desire of ever becoming.

INXS

I admit it...I was completely addicted to a reality TV show, namely, Rockstar: INXS. It involved the 80's band seeking out a new lead singer to front their band. The show ran 10 weeks, with each week eliminating one (one week it was two!) of the 15 singers who were trying out.

Unlike American Idol, many of these folks were trained and often performing either in their own bands, in musical plays, etc. Most were simply amazing to listen to and watch. The band did an incredible job challenging each singer. Often times, you'd think a song was perfect for a singer, only to see that it had a few notes or style that was a challenge for them.

In the end, it came down to Marty Casey, a great grunge singer, Mig Aeysa, Australian singer who performs Queens: We Will Rock You musical, and J.D. Fortune, the dangerous bad boy.

J.D. won it all. He matured during the show, had some great musical arrangements, and is a very talented song writer. As much as I wanted Marty or Mig to win it, once J.D. started singing, "What you need", I knew he was the best fit for the band.

Cheers to INXS for an entertaining 10 week show.

Dreams...

Have you ever had such vivid dreams that you awoke and couldn't rid yourself of that emotion you were experiencing in the dream? Sure...everyone has "scary" dreams where you awake in a sweat and panic...but this was a dream in which I was angry. I really dislike getting angry...but I sure was fuming in this dream. I woke up at 4:00 in the morning Tuesday from it...and couldn't get back to sleep. That sucked. :)

I love my tanks!

With my life steering away from online gaming (World of Warcraft is still fun, just not as "fun" as I thought it would be), I'm dedicating more time to gardening, my pond, and my five aquariums. Here's my 75 gallon tank...I love it. There are 21 fish in the tank, but of course, none of them were up for the camera shot! Where you'll find the pic ... it's the fourth post in that thread.

Anyhow, I've got the 30 gallon stocked and looking purty, the 55 gallon looking great (4 angel fish, some neon rainbows, and some tetras), the 75 gallon (see above), and the 125 gallon looking awesome (5 tinfoil barbs - 3 regular, 1 glass, 1 albino, 4 tiger barbs, 2 gold (female) rosey barbs, 2 clown loaches, 2 silver dollars, 2 bala "sharks", 2 giant danios, and 1 rainbow shark).

It's actually enjoyable just to sit in the living room where my 125 gallon tank is, pluck at the guitar, and watch the fish.

My fifth tank is just a small 5 gallon for guppies...they are funny.

Temperatures around us...

This week my office is suffering from insufficient air flow and temperature control. Today, the office is up to 84 degrees. Dockers and an oxford w/tie just don't seem to do well in that heat. :)

I'm always amazed at how narrow of a temperature range we are comfortable in based on the climates, mostly artificial ones, we are used to. When I lived in San Antonio, a shady 65=70 degree day was just plain chilly. In Colorado, that's really comfortable. I know a lot has to do with humidity, but still...it's pretty amazing how much my blood "thickened" once I lived a few years at 7,500 foot elevation. One day I even went down to feed the horses in jeans and a T-shirt. The air was brisk...but it wasn't until I saw the ice in the water bowls did I realize how cold it really was!

But anyhow...84 degrees in an office setting is just a good reason for frequent breaks to the break room...where's it's just 70 degrees.

Maybe knowledge is evil?

So I've been listening to multiple sides of differing views regarding politics, morality, etc. It's pretty disturbing! :) Hearing Pat Robertson speak to Larry King about made me vomit. He claims liberals and Democrats are more destructive to the country than any terrorist attack, Nazi party, etc. that has ever existed. Did I ever mention that I was a fairly radical right Christian at one time until I became so nauseous at the hipocracy? But that's another story for another time.

And what's up with politicians answering a yes/no question with a 2 page verbal essay? It's yes, or no. If you need to explain why it's "yes", say "Yes! And this is why..." or "No, and this is why I answer that way..." I mean, is communicating that fricken difficult?

Anyhow...my 2 cents for the day!

My body aint what it used to be...

Last Saturday (March 12th), I had the pleasure of heading up (down in elevation, up if you look at a map and put North at the top) to Denver for a volleyball tournament. I participate in this tournament every year...and every year, it seems my body is telling me something with a louder and louder voice. I believe the message has always been the same...but it's definately easier to hear it now: "You're too old for this Jim!" Hehe...seriously though, I'm aching today (Monday). I've always hated taking Ibuprophen or other drugs to dull pain from athletic activity...but I definately waved those concerns today. I work on the second story of a government building that doesn't have an elevator...how the heck can the government get away with that?! But that's another post for another day and probably not worth the bandwidth to download what most folks already know anyhow. :P

By the way, Saturday was an amazing 70 degrees in Denver...snow moved in on Saturday night. It's a weird time of year in Colorado...as late as Wednesday, I can't really tell if I should make plans to go hike/ride in the mountains, or head up to ski. It could be 20, it could be 75...you just never know.

On a more somber note, a good friend of mine is heading to Seattle to work for Microsoft. I'm very excited for him, but pretty sad that I won't have him around. I definately wouldn't have ever pursued a career in computers or anything technology related if it wasn't for him. Of course, I also wouldn't have ever experience on-line gaming or X-box. :D I'm still holding off the urge to get TiVo.

Movies...

I saw a couple of good flicks over the weekend. I'm still getting caught up on "24", the TV series, so my movie watching is limited. :)

The Color Purple (1985) was a great flick. I really enjoyed it. One of Speilburgs early serious developments, but very well done. I was surprised how good Whoopie Goldberg and Oprah were in this movie.

Donnie Darko (2001) was a really different movie. I enjoyed it even more than I thought I would. With a cast and plot revolving around teens, this movie definately broke the stereotype and devled in psychology, brainwashing, and science. The movie left you feeling like that's how it was supposed to end...but not stereotypical everyone lived happily ever after. Highly recommended.

NPR (National Public Radio)

I rarely watch the news, read the paper (I live in Colorado Springs...the paper is extremely conservative and heavily influenced by the folks that think Sponge Bob Squarepants is gay), and definately don't have time to keep up on world events like I would like to. However, I do listen to the radio quite a bit and have been tuned to National Public Radio (NPR) for the past couple of months.

I'm really amazed how much I've learned. Lots of folks call the reporting liberal, but I really can't label it as that. Usually, they just inspire you to think a bit differently than what you might be used to (aka brainwashed to do! :) ). There are too many great stories to share, but I have learned a great deal about the volitile relationship between Syria and Lebbanon, some of the more interesting business practices of Walmart and their effect on the local economy, and the first amputee soldier to request remaining in the military and is be redeployed to Iraq.

It's really very amazing. I also listen to an EXTREMELY conservative (aka right wing) station at work. Well ok, I don't have a radio at work, but the gentleman two cubicals down does and he must be hard of hearing based on the volume level he's listening to a talk show. It's really amazing how often they quote NPR or take snippets from their stories, distort them, and then preach on the evils of american society based on the manipulated portions from NPR. If their audience actually listened to NPR, they'd never go back to the trash that the conservative stations are playing. When I hear folks call in to these stations, I've yet to hear one have a critical comment for the conservative station that the conservative station is willing to acknowledge.

Well...if our president and his cabinet can hand pick the audience for rallies, hire reporters to pose in press conferences, etc...I'm not too surprised the radical right does the same. It appears that "the truth shall set you free" has them frightened to the point that they are willing to sacrifice their integrity, their ideals, and most importantly, their faith to keep the wool pulled over their sheeps eyes.

Ok, now I'm both sad and angry. ;)

Have a good weekend!

Acoustic Guitar...

...I am fascinated by acoustic guitar. I've various albums by names such as Michael Hedges, Phil Keagy, even noninstrumental type stuff like Melissa Etheridge, Edwin McCain and Keb-Mo. However, the Narada collection CDs I have really blow me away. One artist in particular, Billy McLaughlin is just amazing.

I'd highly recommend his music. He has a few free dowloads at his site if you wanna give it a listen.

Salads for lunch...

Today I had a salad, from Wendy's, as my lunch meal. It's a decent salad, consists of about 75% iceberg lettuce, a few leaves of green lettuce, grilled chicken, bacon, tomatoes and cheese. It's actually a very sound lunch. I did add the croutons and used about 1/2 of the salad dressing packet they provided.

As my friend Brad once said (http://dotnetguy.techieswithcats.com), "Americans don't like salad, they just like salad dressing." It's the salad dressing that kills the healthy lunch. One full packet of dressing has 40% of our recommended fat (26g), only 4% carbs (11g, 10 grams are sugar), 15% of our sodium (350mg), and 8% of the cholestorol intake (25mg).

I'm glad I used only 1/2 the dressing...at least I feel like I ate pretty healthy. :)

Bush's inaugural party...

So I hear that Bush is spending forty million dollars (yes, $40,000,000) for his inaugural address party...hmmm...didn't we initially dedicate less than that to the Tsunami victims? I also hear that Kid Rock will be performing...hmmm...the same Kid Rock that sang "Pimp of the Nation"? The same Kid Rock that mentions Barbara Bush in his lyrics?

Hold on...didn't the republicans and right basically excommunicate the Dixie Chicks...but Kid Rock is now blessed? Hmmm....I smell a rat.

Now, Bush also established the White House office of Faith Based and Community Initiatives in order to donate a billion dollars to religious organizations. Very interesting indeed.

Now, lets throw in the mess going on in Ohio...seems Bush gots some interesting team players...claiming to be Christian, but definately not living a Christ-like life.

The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln

So, have you heard the talk shows lately on the assertion that Abraham Lincoln was gay? Even as a gay male, this is a pretty big shock to me. The book will be released in Jan 05, and after I've read it, I'll have to rethink my position on the subject.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0743266390/ref=ord_cart_shr/104-3800601-6273558?%5Fencoding=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&v=glance

I do believe two men can share a bed and not be intimate. I do believe that some men need "intimate" relationships with other men, but that doesn't have to include sex. And yes, I do believe many married men are attracted to other men, but that doesn't make them gay.

So, let's read between the lines. Whether Lincoln was gay or not, he definately needed and desired a close relationship with other men. Today we call that a best friend. I see nothing wrong with that. Why? Because I've had best friends where we were intimate in a non-sexual way, but it didn't make either of us gay. For me, that type of friendship isn't weird. For those that have never had that, first, I'm sorry, and second, I totally understand why you would think that type of relationship is weird, queer, strange, gay, etc. But that doesn't make it the label that you are I have to give it.

For once, I'd just love everyone to swallow their flippin' pride and open their eyes to their prejudices. Unless you know EVERYTHING, how can you possibly label everything? You can't. It's simple. I learn something new every day...there are very few relationships I feel qualified to label. Definately not President Lincoln's.

If he was gay, I don't really care. He was a great man.
If he was straight but had best friends that "slept over", then so be it...he was still a great man.

So, even though I was shocked...I'm open to the suggestion that Lincoln was gay, or bi, or straight with really good men friends. I'm sure those less open minded are simply denying the thought, the evidence, and even the notion.

It's like the scene from Philidelphia all over again...

"Are you gay?"

If you are offended by the question, why? If Lincoln was gay, and you are offended, why?

I'm thin, hung, and addicted to sex...if spam ran my life

I've just never figured out spam. How can it be so incredibly off-target? Do the originators of SPAM have no thoughts or feelings to those they send SPAM to? I all for earning an "honest dollar"...but come on, let's work on the HONEST part and less on the dollar part.

I was thrilled to see Microsoft sueing folks for SPAMing hotmail accounts without putting the legal, "PORN" warnings in the subject line. I've a few hundred e-mails I'd love to throw back to the companies just to tell them how incredibly fricken stupid it was to send me that e-mail.

For a moment, let's assume that the SPAM targetting me in a logical way. By now, I'd have lost the 200 lbs they think I'm overweight by (I'm 6'0" and 175lbs...isn't that in range or even on the thin side?), I'd have gained 3" on my private part (but I'd really rather not!), I'd have increased my cup size (apparently I need bigger breasts too?), I'd of refinanced my house about 22 times a month, and I'd be screwing either horny moms, or watching 18-year olds lose their virginity (ummm...hello...I'm gay! at least target the right sexual preference!). And finally, I'd of bought all my software at such ridiculously low prices, programmers would be making minimum wage. Sheesh.

Will the SPAM never end? I mean really...will it?

WoW!

As many of you may know, World of Warcraft began selling Thanksgiving week. I believe over 200,000 copies were sold or presold on the first day...amazing. They've already added 40 servers, or something around there, to meet the demand. Astounding.

Since I was travelling Thanksgiving week, I figured I'd buy my copy, but not install until my travelling ended. I was able to read the first 80 or so pages of the manual on my drive back from TX (when I wasn't the driver of course!). I was pretty amazed at some of the things I read. Creative and intelligent features put in a game to provide entertainment...have all other online gaming companies forgot about that aspect of gaming? That we game for fun and enjoyment?

After installing the game, and getting the patch completed (yaye for DSL!), I played a bit. It's amazing...simply no other way to describe it.

Most of my on-line friends from Dark Age of Camelot have moved to WoW. Many of my friends from EQ2 that are here in Colorado also moved to WoW. I'm waiting for the negatives of the game...I just haven't found many yet. Travelling is slow...that's about it...until you learn to use the flight paths (stunning feature by the way!).

Coke stock falls...

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=580&e=1&u=/nm/20041111/bs_nm/food_coke_outlook_dc

I read this article and it made me laugh a little bit. As America, and I'm sure other countries as well, get more educated on dietting, etc., it seems many of the "big" companies in the U.S. are taking the hit in the pocket book. Are they so idiotic that they cannot adjust?

Soda pop in general has many negatives that most Americans are becoming aware of. For non-diet soda, the sugar content is really high and so is the calorie intake (roughly 5%-10% of our recommended daily calories in a single 12-20 oz. soda!). Caffeine is getting more and more negative press when taken in high single doses, like a soda or cup of coffee, rather than spread out over the course of the day. Finally, for all soda, the ascorbic acid in it eats the calcium right out of our system...if our body doesn't have any, then it takes it from our bones...calcium is normally a deficiency in the average American diet already.

So what can Coke and the other soda companies do? They sorta moved in the right direction with C2 and Pepsi edge...they have 1/2 the sugar as normal soda without sacrificing much taste. Coke unwisely chose to go with Aspartame (very bad sugar substitute that is unhealthy for lots of folks and pregnant women) while Pepsi went with Splenda (cheers to Pepsi!!). The result is Pepsi Edge tastes much better than C2 simply because it doesn' have the diet taste that C2 and aspartame create.

As I slowly phase soda out of my diet, 3-4 a day was just too many, I have little to no sympathy for the soda industry. Soda on tap tastes much better than a can or bottle, yet soda on tap at say Wendy's, Taco Bell, etc. rates right up there with robbery as far as costs go.

Unhealthy + Expensive = Death.

They are digging their own graves and have noone else to blame but themselves.

Movies, games, and shopping...OH MY!

Is it just me or is this year incredibly packed even before December has hit? Well, certainly some things are "just me"...but I'm sure it appeals to tons of others as well.

Great movies are coming out...not just in theatres, but the DvD releases are killing me! Shrek 2, Harry Potter, LOTR:ROTK long-arse version, etc. etc. etc. Movies coming out include Kinsey, National Treasure, The Incredibles, and others that I'm really looking forward to seeing.

Computer games are in full gear right now. As most of you likely heard, Halo 2 was released today. It's expected to sell $100M in copies today alone...wow! 5 million are expected to buy it in November...and 10 million copies overall...simply amazing. I haven't even finished FABLE yet for X-box...nor KOTOR (Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic) and KOTOR 2 is coming out in December! Everquest 2 was released today (though it's not very tempting to me for some reason) as well. Later this month, World of Warcraft is being released...many are Beta testing it...and claim it's a blast. Darn it! I hear Half Life 2 is coming out soon as well? I haven't even gotten Doom 3 yet! I know I'm a geek...but I'm losing major points this season!

Now, throw in that we are supposed to be shopping for Christmas already (even though I've got one friend off the list already!) and it's no wonder America sees the holidays as stressful...we have too much to do. :)

Ok, off to Best Buy I go...I gotta buy something, anything, at this point!

And so it begins! (COLD!)

The snow began on Sunday, but that was hardly the extent of the cold weather here in Colorado. On Monday, the drive to work went from a pleasant 35 minutes to a marathon 85 minutes. Most snow storms leave snow, packed snow, and maybe some ice on the road...this one just left 2-3 inches of ice. :( And a chilly 11 degrees on Monday night/Tuesday morning....bbbbbbrrrrrrr!

Did I mention that my Mom moved in about 2 weeks ago? Long story, but I'm glad she is back in Colorado and seems to be getting motivated to find a job, etc. She does chatter a lot in the morning...I'm trying to get her to stop waking up at 4:00 so she doesn't disturb me or Scott. She also isn't allowed to smoke in the house or garage. My house, my rules...she can go slowly kill herself and/or destroy her lungs in her own house. Most of my family are smokers...all of them know I hate it, think it's discusting, etc. :) But I love them anyhow.

With her being diabetic, I'm trying to encourage her to eat better, reduce her carb intake, and am cooking to reflect that. I love to cook, but my Mom doesn't. She's very good at cleaning up afterwards. While she's unemployed, she's been cleaning, dusting, vacuuming, etc. I think the house is cleaner now than when we moved in!

Tomorrow we will have the results of the presidential race as well as the Senate, House, and a few Governor seats...should make for some good reading or light depression...either way, it's exciting to me for some odd reason this year.

--Jim