Monday, December 20, 2004

I'm thin, hung, and addicted to sex...if spam ran my life

I've just never figured out spam. How can it be so incredibly off-target? Do the originators of SPAM have no thoughts or feelings to those they send SPAM to? I all for earning an "honest dollar"...but come on, let's work on the HONEST part and less on the dollar part.

I was thrilled to see Microsoft sueing folks for SPAMing hotmail accounts without putting the legal, "PORN" warnings in the subject line. I've a few hundred e-mails I'd love to throw back to the companies just to tell them how incredibly fricken stupid it was to send me that e-mail.

For a moment, let's assume that the SPAM targetting me in a logical way. By now, I'd have lost the 200 lbs they think I'm overweight by (I'm 6'0" and 175lbs...isn't that in range or even on the thin side?), I'd have gained 3" on my private part (but I'd really rather not!), I'd have increased my cup size (apparently I need bigger breasts too?), I'd of refinanced my house about 22 times a month, and I'd be screwing either horny moms, or watching 18-year olds lose their virginity (ummm...hello...I'm gay! at least target the right sexual preference!). And finally, I'd of bought all my software at such ridiculously low prices, programmers would be making minimum wage. Sheesh.

Will the SPAM never end? I mean really...will it?

No comments: